I don't really want to flip anymore you know...
Jing's bday, CNY, law bash, CHP, pharmaco and COFM exams, Shanghai trip, psychomed, then the downhill... these are the things I can remember of 2006...

As people start to tell me, I have become a totally changed person. I don't realize it myself, but its true, its become a chronic state.
I guess as you grow older and go through more in life, you begin to lose the child in you more and more. Its a degenerative process which no one can escape, and eventually leads to... well... dementia and death I suppose.

Maybe last time I was too naive. Always wanted to be a little princess, living in a fairy tale world, always happy, always chirpy, forgets things easily and moves on...
I guess its a gift I've had, being able to do so, unaffected by big emotional stressors or pressure to mature and grow up. Something that I have taken for granted.

Guess now its been taken away, the child in me. Its like someone has brought the brutal and harsh world right in front of my eyes, and thrown me in, deep in. I really miss those times I was in my little fairytale land, and each time I stepped closer to the brutal world, I would take a quick look and run back in disgust. But life has to go on.

Somehow, I have begun to dislike my own blogskin. It looks too happy, too bright, too pretty for the contents of my posts. The pink and purple stars doesn't reflect me at all, not anymore. I face the change in my life, not with the greatest enthusiasm, but with a responsibility. Moving on in this brutal world is something I have to do, a duty I have to fufil, duty to my parents, to my relatives, to my friends, to my future patients and the society as a whole. I don't like it, not a single bit. But now I learn to appreciate smaller things in life, the little things that make you happy. Never back to the 100% happy like before, but nevertheless, anything above baseline is good.

Many thanks to everyone who has lent a helping hand, as I struggled with the transition to the dark world. I was thrown in some 2 months ago, head hitting the ground first. But now, I am on my feet again. Not the most stable stance I have, but step by step, I begin to learn to walk on the rough terrain. From now on, I know that each fall will be much harder, more painful and possibly more fatal than falling on the grass covered meadows. I know that I will sustain more cuts, more bruises and maybe more fractures or broken bones, but it is time to be brave. Brightly coloured flowers will no longer be a common sight, but each one will be more beautiful than before.

This will officially be my last blog entry here.

In the past week, I have been blogging on another blog, and I don't want to look back anymore.

PS: ask me for my blog address if you want to know.

no more pink and purple, no more stars.

Its the first step in the other world.

It is time.